So my sophomore year of college is over and I don’t know how I feel about it.
Without a doubt, these two semesters have been two of the wildest rides of my whole entire life. I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet. I wrote about how to love yourself. I applied to my major, one that has one of the lowest acceptance rates at my school – and got in! I was part of a protest that revolved around one of the biggest women’s health cases in history. I fell in love with my three roommates. I learned how to make tacos. I started to like how I look in a bikini. I figured out that a Sonic is only 6 minutes away. The important stuff.
Nothing could have prepared me for how I would feel at the end of this year. Its a mix of emotion – relief, sadness, excitement, but mostly the feeling of being proud.
My sophomore year taught me that it’s okay to be by yourself. Freakin’ bask in it, actually. Sing in the bathroom while you get ready by yourself. Have the lady at the drive through window at Arby’s know you by name because you go there so much…by yourself. Go grocery shopping by yourself. Study by yourself. It’s all good. It’s all okay. You’re actually pretty cool.
My sophomore year taught me that it’s okay to cry. At least I hope this is true, because I’ve cried a LOT. Two days ago I cried when I saw a commercial with a cute puppy. It only had three legs. Cue sobs. I cry every time my little sister posts on Instagram. 1, because she ALWAYS gets more likes than me, but mostly 2, because she’s growing up and that’s not okay. Last week I cried because I was planning a surprise party at the same time as finals. I sat in my closet on the phone with my mom and told her that my life sucks. I spent way too much money on balloons and I found confetti with my roommate’s name on it for $1. It was emotional.
Low point, people. Everybody has one.
In all seriousness, please don’t bottle up how you feel. It doesn’t do anybody any good. For my fellow college students, at the end of the semester our bodies are wondering how the hell we are still functioning, what the heck we are eating (pizza place nearby that’s open 4am), and how in the whole entire WORLD we are doing what we do. So if you have to have an emotional breakdown every once in a while, go for it.
My sophomore year has taught me that C’s get degrees. ReLAX, Papa, I’m not rolling in a puddle of average over here, but its true. Its okay if you get to college and its not as easy as high school. Its supposed to be a little harder, more challenging. Do your best, talk to your academic advisor as much as you can, and don’t forget to breathe. Sometimes I forget to do that and I start to almost hyperventilate, like my dog does when she meets new people. True story.
Finally, this year has taught me to soak it up. Soak it allllllll up. Because fast forward two more years to graduation and I probably won’t be in as nice as an apartment as I am right now and adulting will get a whole lot harder. I’ll have a whole slew of things to work through, like my job, where I’m going to live, which celebrity I’m going to obsess over, how long I can live off of ramen to afford HBO, how many times I can watch Beyonce’s concert on YouTube…the tricky shit.
I’ll be honest. It’s still weird to be living away from home. My family always seems so far away. It’s ever weirder being single, a title I haven’t had in two years. But this year has given me the confidence I need to move forward and keep pushing. God knows I needed that. Happy summer, y’all. I’ve been waiting!