Making Your LDR Work

LDR: Long distance relationship, a relationship you think to be stressful and lonely, but a relationship that can actually be quite the opposite. Here’s how to make it work. Whether you’re just a couple of towns apart or separated by oceans and other continents, after being in a long distance relationship for 6 months, these tricks work no matter the miles.

1. Schedule: I learned to do this the hard way. During the week, S and I would rely on texting each other throughout the day, but I got so tired of not hearing his voice or seeing his face. After a couple of weeks with this routine, I needed to switch things up. We decided that about mid-week, we would FaceTime or talk on the phone for a good amount of time (at least more than 30 minutes) and share how our week was going so far and what we had planned up until we met up again. Scheduling a time to talk or always having a time frame in my mind helped the countdown to hanging out in the same place go a LOT faster.

2. Talk yourself down and TRUST: When a lack of texts suggest he or she has gone to sleep but the snapchats from friends prove otherwise, don’t. Panic. Its hard to not assume the worst when your SO is so far away and your communication depends on your phone, but remember who you date and why you date them. Learn how to talk yourself down: remember that your relationship was founded on trust, respect, and friendship, and don’t look far into no texts back. S said, “Going into the relationship knowing my feelings for you helped me make the decision to follow through with long distance.” Don’t forget about the experiences you had when you weren’t long distance. For me, I remembered how I felt when S would get out of the car to pick me up for a date. That moment always gave me butterflies. Or I would scroll through pictures we’ve taken together to remember that being apart is hard, but worth it.

You keep me safe/I'll keep you wild

You keep me safe/I’ll keep you wild

3. Communicate. Something bothering you about the distance? Say so. Missing your other half more than usual? Let them know. Communicating how you feel is hard to do, especially when there’s miles in between. By communicating to your boyfriend or girlfriend how the distance is sitting with you, you’ll build a stronger relationship and if you’re having anxiety, you’ll work it out. This tip ties in with #1 – schedule talks during the week or get a countdown app, like DreamDays, on your phone to make the distance seem less daunting.

These are my tips for making a long distance relationship work and work well, with some input from S too 🙂

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, what advice do you have? How do you make it work?

 

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  • These are awesome tips! I’m in a LDR as well, and we try and talk on the phone everyday. We’re about 2.5 years into it however!

    xoxo

    • swraex@gmail.com

      Wow…2.5 years?! I couldn’t do it. We managed to see each other about once a month or maybe twice, but it was so hard. Do you see each other often?

  • My boyfriend and I live together, but he travels a lot for 3-4 months of the year for work. It’s really hard not seeing him during this time. These tips are great – it’s amazing what to can accomplished when two people really care for each other. Great post. xo

    Allyssa | Life with Lyss

    • swraex@gmail.com

      Thanks so much! I feel your pain – 3 or 4 months sucks :/

  • I’m in an LDR as well. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and have only been apart for these past 2.5 months. I am pretty sure I am moving to where he is in the next few months but these tips are very helpful for the time being.

    Thanks for sharing!

    xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys

    • swraex@gmail.com

      Wow! That’s exciting!! Is the move far away from where you are right now?

  • Number 2 is what I struggled with most in a LDR! I totally agree with your advice!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It …

  • I was in a not so long distance relationship in high school, we lived a little over an hour away from each other. It was definitely hard, but I couldn’t imagine being in one now. I basically live with my boyfriend now and we are moving into a place together in July. These are great tips and advice!

    XO Kay | Fashionably Kay

  • These are really great tips! I’m not In a ldr right now but I have been and it definitely presented some challenges for me. I was so guilty of getting worked up over unreturned texts when my bf was all over snapchat and Insta and I really had to develop a system of talking myself out of it as you noted!

    • swraex@gmail.com

      Yep. I’m guilty too. I always told myself that if he wasn’t texting back, 80% of the time he was with his roommates (3 guys) and 20% of the time sleeping…and I was always right hahaha

  • Being in a long distance relationship is absolutely no fun, but it really does make you appreciate the time that you do get to spend together. My boyfriend and I spent a year long distance, and I really think it helped to strengthen our relationship in a way. I agree that trust is definitely key. If you don’t trust them, that will create some animosity that will be hard to overcome later. You’ll spend all of your time wondering whether or not they’re being faithful, and you forget to just be happy in your relationship. Thanks for sharing these tips!

  • Great tips – I was in a LDR on and off throughout college and now we’ve been living together for our years! LDR’s can totally work out. Loved this post!

  • These are such great tips! I was in a long distance relationship for seven months until my boyfriend moved to where I live. I don’t miss the distance, but I do miss all of the neat places that we traveled to since we would often meet in cities in the middle 🙂

    XX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass

    • swraex@gmail.com

      So true! I loved when my boyfriend visited because I could show him cool places he’s never been to 🙂

  • Love these tips! Props to you for holding a LDR!

    XO
    Ashley
    privateschoolprepster.blogspot.com

  • I’ve never had luck in the LDR department, although I’ve tried once or twice. I agree trust is HUGE– and it’s hard to gain that. You need a strong base before you can commit to the distance. Great post! 🙂

    xo,
    Stephanie
    Diary of a Debutante
    http://www.thediaryofadebutante.com